My New Online Haven

I've moved blogs.  See you at Thoughts, Tales, and Whatnot.

Twenty-Eight and Single

photo credit

Some people just take great delight in reminding me of my age.  I honestly don't know what bothers them more:  my age or my being single at this age.  I think it's the latter.

My age has never really bothered me.  As I have always said, it's just a number and definitely not biological.  One can be eighteen and have the maturity of a forty year old or one can be thirty and be no wiser.  

Being single has also never really bothered me as I have shared in this blog many times.  I'm happy being one.  It's not that I do not want to be in a relationship.  I do but what I do not want is to be in a relationship with just anyone.  And there comes the hard part as it is very difficult for me to find a guy who complements me.

"Choosy ka kasi (It's because you're choosy)," a friend pointed out when we chatted yesterday.  I typed back, "Oo na, ako na ang choosy pero bakit ka naman pipili ng sakit sa ulo?  Para ka na ring kumuha ng batong ipangpupokpok mo sa sarili mong ulo.  (Okay, fine, I am choosy but why not?  Why be with a guy who will just give you headaches?)  I just do not want complications and since most guys are complicated (or bring complications), eh 'di 'wag na lang (then never mind).  Just look at you."  And this sure shut her up because she just separated from her cheater husband.

I won't elaborate further on why I am still single as I have already covered that in a previous post.  But to put it simply, it's by MY choice.  Period.

What I want to address is this "napag-iiwanan ka na ng panahon"  (time is running out) mentality that most people automatically attach to me once they find out that I am still single at twenty-eight (turning twenty-nine before the month ends).  Since when does marriage have a deadline?  More importantly, since when does one's (marital) status define a person or his / her happiness?

When I browse through my Facebook wall, I smile and click on Like and sometimes even comment when I see my friends with their family or kids.  I'm happy for them but here's the gist of what this post is about:  I'm happy for myself too.  For what I have and do not have.  

I admit there are times when I wonder about how my life would be if I already have my own family.  I would  wonder about what my husband or daughter or son would look or be like.  About how I would be like as a wife and mom.  But that's just that - speculations.  

Life is a matter of choice.  So are love and happiness.  I cannot spend my life looking back on or chasing after what could be e.g. "What could have happened if I married X?"  I already made my choice and so I have to make it work for me.  I have to find my happiness in my choice.  

I am twenty-eight (turning twenty-nine) and single.  And luckily for me, I am happy being one.

Take Heart and Give the Poor Guy a Chance

photo credit

I chanced upon ABC's Dating in the Dark earlier.  The show was about three single men and three single women trying to find his or her match while in the dark thus failing to see how each looks like until the revelation process.  

In the episode I saw, all the men agreed on dating a girl if she looked 'hot.'  I thought women know better but the three ladies on that show also had 'looks' high up on their list of standards, and even more so, if I must say.  One had misgivings because the cowboy guy was not wearing the right fashion while one girl was so disappointed with the guy she chose to see that she rated him a 5 out of 10, adding he was an average in the looks department.  The culmination of the show was the couple meeting in the balcony if they wanted to pursue a relationship or either or both of them exiting the house if s/he did not like the other.  Of course, that girl exited the house and the poor guy was left alone in the balcony, watching her leave while wondering what was wrong with him.

The above made me think if indeed, we have all gone shallow.  I mean, come on, he is the same guy who the girl thought is nice and her match prior to seeing his face!  Why not try to probe things deeper by going on a date with him?  

Whatever happened to things that matter most like honesty and kindness and love and fidelity? 

I won't be a hypocrite and say looks don't matter because they do but all I'm saying is at least give the guy a chance with a date or two.  Who knows, he truly is the one for you but since you're too busy critiquing his looks, you fail to see how he takes care of you or makes you laugh or complements you.

Something New

photo credit

I love writing.  I fell in love with it at age eight when I made my first poem.  I actually wanted to be a journalist but things did not go as planned and so I am now a hotelier.  Not that I have complaints as being in this industry has taught me a lot and brought me to many lovely places.  Still, my love for writing burns as fiercely as ever and that is why despite my mostly hectic schedule, I find time to blog.

Two days ago, I accepted a position that entails writing for a living.  It is actually yet to sink in but I'm already having mixed feelings about it.  A part of me is excited but a part of me is sad.  I guess that's how things go, especially when a particular beginning entails saying goodbye.

I feel sad because I will no longer be closely working with people who for the past three years made my stint as a Duty Manager a most interesting one.  I feel sad because I will be missing the rollercoaster ride of handling hotel operations and the opportunity of learning from our guests and staff alike.

On the other hand, I welcome working on regular hours again.  No more shifting schedules or working on Sundays and holidays, which makes me look forward to spending my holidays especially Christmas, New Year and town fiestas with my family and friends. 

As a Duty Manager primarily deals with guests' complaints, now that soon I will not be one, I can also heave a sigh of relief as I will be spared dealing with upset or screaming guests.  Not that I dread these situations as such are what taught me a lot and made the past three years such a fun rollercoaster ride but not having them sure is a breather.

I am really thankful to my company for believing in me and for giving me the chance to contribute to it through my passion for writing.  And though I still feel a little wary of things to come, I resolve to myself to give my best to this endeavor and make the most of it.

Bring it on.

Another Turning Point (that is, if I Say Yes)

photo credit

"It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right.  I hope you had the time of your life…"

So goes a song from Greenday. And as I listen to it, I wonder about how some things unpredictable have worked out in my life.

I'm a planner.  And an OC (obsessive-compulsive) one at that especially when it's my life that we're talking about.  More than my being a planner though is my being goal-oriented.  When I set myself to something, I must achieve this something no matter what.

When I was small, people asked me where I wanted to study and without batting an eyelash, I would confidently reply, "in UP."  Fast forward to six years and I had just become a freshman in State U.

My life plan also listed that by age twenty-eight, I should be a manager already and this too happened even earlier than planned as I was just twenty-five when I achieved my current position.

So single-minded I am that I almost always have just one option.  I refrain from having fallback plans just so I will do everything to make One-and-Only Plan A to happen and work for me.

But there are times when no matter my best efforts, things just don’t work out as planned.  Some of these things too do not even get dealt to me as life has given me a different set of cards than what I would have wanted.

I did not plan on getting a degree in Tourism and yet, I did.  I planned of working, even settling abroad by the time I was twenty-six and yet at twenty-eight, I am still here in my home country.

The above are just two of the most unpredictable things that happened to me but as that Greenday song said, these turned out to be for the best as my college degree enabled me to be in my current industry, which I love and my current company turned out to be my niche that a mere two years after being here, I gave up all plans of going abroad.

As I remember the above, I am also thinking of something unpredictable that happened to me yesterday that kept me awake until the wee hours of the morning.  As almost all things unpredictable are, this something entails me moving out of my comfort zones and confronting the unknown.  It requires a huge risk - something that I only calculatingly take.    

At this point, I still don't know if I am going to accept the offer as it's not included in my plans.  It's actually shaking my already very well-laid plans to the core that I'm now left looking at the loops and ends trying to see where it fits. 

And as I mentally map moving these pieces into what I hope are their rightful places, I realize that it is not the life pieces I have that matter.  It is what I do with them.

There's Nothing Like Love

photo credit

There's nothing like love to throw you off course

or straighten your path.

To make you wary of taking risks

or propel you to take the leap of faith.

To make you fear  

or trust implicitly.

To make you hit rock bottom

Or take you to the greatest of heights.

To bring out the inner monster in you 

that you feel hurt and jealous all at the same time,

or even unreasonable.  

But it can also create 

an understanding, giving heart in you

and even inspire you to be selfless.

There's nothing like love 

to take you to a life of upheavals 

but it will be 

your most thrilling rollercoaster ride yet...

Whatever it is that love brings you, 

remember that it is your doing - 

your choice.

So love wisely,

taking care of not just his heart

but of yours as well.

Happiness is not an Ending

photo credit

The pursuit of happiness.  I have come across this phrase quite a number of times.  And I wonder why.

Is it because most people think of happiness as something so elusive?  Many times, I have heard and read about people wanting to be happy.  Some even list it as their ultimate goal.

But I disagree.  As I have always said, happiness is a choice, albeit a more difficult one.  Happiness is also not a goal or an ending.  It is something we can achieve even while we embark on this adventure we call life.  We don't live because we want to be happy in the end.  We are happy simply because we live. 

As I celebrated my twenty-eight birthday recently, I give thanks to God for this wonderful blessing of my life.  And I give thanks too to and for my loved ones and friends - these people who add vibrancy to my already great life with the personal touch they put to it. 

Happiness is not an ending.  Surrounded by my loved ones, it is something I have always had.  It is something my parents showered me with from the time I was conceived.  It is something I see in their proud eyes and is also reflected in mine .  It is something I feel every time the family gets together.  Something my friends and I also share.

Happiness is the celebration of the person that I am.  It is reveling in my individuality and the appreciation I have for what I have been blessed with. 

Happiness is also the security I have in my rewarding career.  It is also in being able to travel and shop and indulge in my favorite food.  In being lost in a good book.  Or music.  Or being entertained by a movie.

But happiness is not just about the good things in life.  Happiness is also knowing that my tears of sorrow or pain have sprouted lessons that now guide my present and future.  It is growing up.

As I look back on what was and look forward to what will be, I remember the many happy birthdays I have been greeted with these past twenty-eight years.  

And I smile because indeed, it is a happy life I live.