Woman & Beauty

It is not beauty that defines a woman

because it is she who defines beauty.
Beauty is being contented with and accepting of
who and what she really is.
It is the strength in her character,
the confidence, optimism, joy and hope
that she has in the way she lives life to the fullest.
It is in her warm, caring & nurturing nature,
In the way she is a “mother” to all.


A woman is not perfect
and she does not try to be
But her beauty is best seen
in how she carries herself in trying, difficult times.
A woman’s beauty is in her courage & bravery
to fight life’s challenges head on.
It is in her being aware of her inadequacies
and in knowing full well
How to make the most of them.


A woman is beautiful
and her only affirmation in that
is her belief in herself.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

kahlan nynaeve, with a score of 12345 and at level 6 in Yahoo Answers.

The One Who Got Away*

"There is but one true and great love," her friend once said with eyes all agleam. She just laughed. It was a foreign, even ridiculous concept for her. And then she truly fell in love. Hard. But she fought it . She said he does not meet her requirements and expectations... that they are from two very different worlds and whatever relationship they will share just won't work. She thought of all the reasons that she could think of to shut him out of her life, to justify her shying away from him. Confused and in pain, he said that she was unfair. To him. To herself. To both of them. "Give me a chance," he implored but the words just fell on deaf ears...

Fast forward to a couple of years after she bid goodbye to him. His face still sometimes haunts her. She remembers his smiles and misses a lot of things about him. And then she realizes, maybe her friend is right. Maybe there really is just one true and great love for each one of us. That one person with that special smile, that special way of looking at her that makes her feel as though she is the prettiest girl in the world. The very same person who makes her heart beat faster and brings out the best and the worst in her... That rare person who can make her life into a series of upheavals, a roller coaster ride of mixed feelings and bittersweet moments. For her, that person is he – he who made her define and defy love...

Sadly, in most cases, as was in hers, that person is usually the one who got away.

===============

*for her. Indeed, you will never know what you got till it's gone.

reprinted from my Friendster blog dated July 17, 2007.

Let Me Be

Let me be the one you call
When the world closes in on you
Let me be there and I will be with you
The whole time through
Let me be the one to pick you up
When you stumble and fall
I'll give you my strength, I'll give my all
For you to again stand tall
Let me be the shoulders you lean on
The same shoulders that you can cry on
Come what may, I'll be there
Bearing with you what you have to bear
Let me be your friend
I give you a friendship that will never end
You can always trust and rely on me
Believe, and let me be.

=============== 
written when I was 10

My Guardian Angel

When I see your smile,

Tears run down on my face.

I can't replace.

And now that I'm stronger,

I have figured out,

How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul.

And I know I'll find deep inside me, I can be the one.

I will never let you fall.

I'll stand up with you forever.

I'll be there for you through it all.

Even if saving you sends me to heaven...

The first time I heard this song a few months back, I was struck at how poignant the lyrics are. Then I remembered you.

I used to think that you are my guardian angel. That is, until I fell in love with you.

I remember you saying, "I'll never let you fall" but now I am thinking that you should have added IN LOVE WITH ME on it.

You were too nice. Too much of a gentleman. Too perfect for me that even if I did my damnedest to not fall for you, I did. You weren't hard to love, you know...

And now I hit rock bottom. In fairness to you, you were there to cushion my fall but only as a friend. You were my angel, right? And I was your ward. And that is all there is.

How could you not notice? Worse, how could you not feel it? How could you ask me how I was doing and then when I tell you that I had been nursing a broken heart you would go to my defense saying I only had to tell you who the guy is and you would beat the lights out of him?

If you only knew, you would be beating yourself black and blue.

==========
Song Title: My Guardian Angel

tableau

by the window pane
i stood
rigidly
and watched
through
the frosted glass.

if only my heart
could be as rigid
as my stance...
if only the cold
could freeze
it too...

i watched
silently
as your hand
came up
to caress
her hair
and even from far away
i could see
your expression
of naked,
vulnerable caring...
the same expression
further deepening
when she laughed
at something you just said
the lilting sound of it
carried
to where i was
by the frigid night air...

and i could feel
my bruised heart
breaking...
shattering into
a thousand pieces
its sound swallowed
by the stillness
of the night
as tears
glinted in my eyes
but remained unshed
my expression
as brittle
as the broken
fragments
of my heart.

how could someone
bring me so much joy
and pain
at the same time?

and how could i
have let myself
be held captive
by your smile,
your very being
when i knew
you were not
and never would be
mine?

Bittersweet

The flavor of my youth is bittersweet. Its joys, pains, adventures, trials, conquests and awakenings will never be forgotten.

Youth was that time when I first felt my heart flutter like a butterfly in flight. It was a feeling which I mistook for love and so it was at this stage in my life when I learned that love isn't about getting all gooey inside and giddy on the outside but is more a commitment than a feeling.

True love knocked on my door all right but I was too young then to take things seriously. In my youth, I learned to lose someone I should have kept and cherished.

Youth was a time of friendship. Of opening myself to someone and sharing laughter and tears. It was also a time of secrets betrayed and trusts broken. Most girls were just too chatty, I learned, and some could be mean without even trying.

Youth was that time too when I wanted to be independent but my parents thought I was rushing things up. The time when I desperately wanted to be free but got bound by my parents' rules. It was that time when reasoning with them could be (mis)construed as talking and fighting back and was deemed being disrespectful when all I really wanted was to be heard.

Youth was that time when I wanted to define myself only to find things that I did not like about me. Of looking for my identity but ending up trying to be like everybody else to fit in.

Youth was basking in the truth that I was misunderstood even when I really wasn't. It gave me the "license" to be angst-ridden no doubt fueled by my passion for the songs of Alanis, Gin Blossoms, The Cranberries, Nirvana and Oasis. I even thought their songs are about and for me. Ha!

Youth was knowing who I was and what I was capable of. And wasn't. It was standing at the crossroads of my life and knowing full well that whatever choice I would make would define the person that I would become.

In my youth, I was confronted with harsh realities and bitter truths. Rude awakenings were bitter pills to swallow but these eventually made me feel better about myself and the world.