Conversations with Myself: On Beauty

The Questions

Just look at you. So feminine and pretty. Is that how you define beauty now? With the neatly coiffed hair, the subtle makeup, all these dresses and skirts and "power suits" and whatnot? Whatever happened to that simple girl who used to balk at the mere idea of putting on makeup? To that impish child-woman who adorns herself with only her smile? 

Do you still remember your "hoyden" days? You were "one of the boys." You hated wearing skirts and feminine sandals and would rather starve than wear high heels. Your hair was cropped short or in instances when they were long, was almost always up in an artless ponytail or braids and seldom would you consult a mirror.

In you teen years, unlike snotty, always giggling giddy girls, you remained simple and unaffected and sneered at all those "snotty, feeling all-grown-up-but-with-brains-the-size-of-peas tweens whose stuck-up behavior made you swore to never be like any of them in whatever way or form. Some of those girls teased you mercilessly but you held your ground quite admirably. Unlike these "pa-girl" girls, you loved lugging your backpack around and were usually dressed in sneakers, tees and jeans. You even used to dress like Alex Mack, right?

Then you became sophisticated and I got scared. Where's the girl who I have been carrying a torch for all these years? I like the changes that I'm seeing but beneath those, what have you become?

The Answers

I have changed but I am still me. Why do some equate being sophisticated with being "maarte," even shallow? I've seen people treat women they consider as "eye candy" as "bimbos" only to be surprised when some of these "bimbos" converse to them with wit and style. My current case and the case of those "snotty, feeling all-grown-up-but-with-brains-the-size-of-peas tweens" in my teens are different. Don't generalize.

My job in the travel and tourism industry requires that I am always at my best, yes, even (well maybe, most of all), physically, too. I wear makeup only to enhance my natural assets. Femininity is not all about wearing skirts and dresses and putting on makeup. I can wear jeans sans the makeup and still look utterly feminine.

And you got it wrong. I did not become sophisticated. Sophistication became me. It is not those dresses and makeup and whatnot that make me look good. I make them look good on me.

Beneath the sophisticated exterior, the simple girl still lives. Look beyond the glitters and you'll find an even greater gem. My reality is defined not just by appearance but more by what my heart holds.