People come into and walk out of our lives but only our true friends leave heartprints that warm our hearts and enrich our lives.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.
- E.E Cummings
I used to thrive on acceptance. As a teen hell bent on being recognized and accepted by my peers, I tried to like the same music, same movies, same everything that they liked. Several times had I bent myself out of shape trying to please them, to make them like me. I sacrificed bits and pieces of my identity for fear that they would shun me for being different.
It was in college when I found my acceptance for the person that I was. I realized that acceptance of one's self was all that mattered. The process was not easy but I had my faith in myself to hold on to.
It took a lot of courage for me to grow up but yes, finally, I did. After countless reflections, I began to show to the world the spirited me. I broke away from what was and embraced and basked in my individuality.
What made us different is what made us special. People will always have their standards for us to live up to but I now I really don't care about that. That chapter of my life is over.
Why live up to those standards when we can be the standards ourselves?
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Sometimes, the best way to prove our love is to let our loved one go. I did that for you but you were so caught up in feelings of hatred to realize that.
Sometimes too, things are better left unexplained. Words unsaid are sometimes kinder. What we don't know can't hurt us, right?
"It is just so easy for you to let go," you accused bitterly. I looked away for fear of what you will see in my eyes . I remained silent because my throat was too constricted from trying not to cry. Silence was my only comfort, a warm cocoon that protects me from betraying myself.
Frustrated, you hollered, "So this is it? This is goodbye?"
Goodbye. Just one word. A two syllable word and yet it was too difficult for me to say it. But for you, I gathered all my courage and muttered with false conviction. "Yes. A goodbye."
Your lips thinned. Your usual reaction when you are displeased, angry or frustrated. Then you looked away, let go of my hand and walked out on me. You did not even bother to look back. If you did, you would have seen me with tears streaming down my face.
Through my tears, I watched as my world shattered right before my very eyes. I smiled. Bitterly.
This was what I wanted. I knew I was doing this for the best. I just did not know that it would hurt this much.
inspired by the lyrics of this song:
I try to say goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near...
- Macy Gray
Song Title: I Try
Artist: Macy Gray
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Do you believe in happy endings? Jane Smith in the movie Mr. & Mrs. Smith succinctly said, "Happy endings are stories that just haven't finished yet."
I am melancholic. A cynic too but not that much of a cynic. I believe in happy endings but am aware too of life's harsh realities. Still, I hope for happy endings. I just can't help it. Maybe I am just a hopeless idealist, an incurable optimist.
Let the ocean toss its biggest waves. My boat will go on sailing. I will hold on to my faith. To my belief that I will finish the race triumphantly. Nothing and no one will hold me back. Unless I let them, that is.
My life is not yet over. And contrary to what Jane Smith said, mine won't be a sad finish. My story won't end until I give it the best and happiest of endings.
Life is a choice. So is happiness. Thus I choose to live life to the fullest.