"move on."
my friends tell me
and i'd just smile --
a smile that just doesn't
reach my eyes
and i'd laugh
albeit hollowly
and in a voice ringing
with false conviction,
i'd even dare say,
"what for?
everything's so yesterday.
i am now over him."
but who am i fooling?
i'm stuck
in that place
where there's still an us
i'm helpless
so desperate that i refuse
to wake up
choosing to instead
be in a dream
than in an empty bed
with only my tears
for company.
it's not that
i don't want to move on
i do try
but something
seems to always
remind me of you --
little and big things
that the more i blot out,
the more they seem
to taunt me with their
presence.
much like your omnipresence.
i'm stuck
and a way out
is nowhere to be found
for even my own mind
and heart betray me.
what's worse
than not moving on?
it's being stuck here
left alone to fend for myself
and still loving the jerk
who's responsible
for all this mess.
==========
2 comments:
like the old cliche goes "time will heal all wounds" broken heart sucks but in the same token it's what all of us needed to experience and the true taste in life. we'll get stronger as a person; as a whole to endur such pain. true. that as we get older our heart get colder. bare this broken heart babygirl, use it as your shield. we all want our love our life to be perfect; no toil; no pain. but life is not perfect nor love.
don't stay too long with the dark lonely walls, they're might be of comfort for now. eventually, your heartache will subside and the pain will be bearable.
moving on is easier said than done. there is no magic pill or an easy solution. more importantly is get angry (you may not be at this point) curse out loud. let some of the pain out. use this part of your emotion as a beacon. use it to drive you. go and do things that would only improve yourself.
you're a strong, smart person.
yes, you let your unprotected heart out and it got crushed. but it's not you to blame. he'd lost a good thing. deal with it. deal with the pain. trust me, you'll be a stronger person when you decided to come out from it.
you might ask "what does he know?"
all i could say "been there, done that, and got a t-shirt."
Although this is quite a sad poem, its good to see that you are still writing and working everything out through cathartic poetry. The word omnipresence fits perfectly here to breakup the stanzas.
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