Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Twenty-Eight and Single

Some people just take great delight in reminding me of my age.  I honestly don't know what bothers them more:  my age or my being single at this age.  I think it's the latter.

My age has never really bothered me.  As I have always said, it's just a number and definitely not biological.  One can be eighteen and have the maturity of a forty year old or one can be thirty and be no wiser.  

Being single has also never really bothered me as I have shared in this blog many times.  I'm happy being one.  It's not that I do not want to be in a relationship.  I do but what I do not want is to be in a relationship with just anyone.  And there comes the hard part as it is very difficult for me to find a guy who complements me.

"Choosy ka kasi (It's because you're choosy)," a friend pointed out when we chatted yesterday.  I typed back, "Oo na, ako na ang choosy pero bakit ka naman pipili ng sakit sa ulo?  Para ka na ring kumuha ng batong ipangpupokpok mo sa sarili mong ulo.  (Okay, fine, I am choosy but why not?  Why be with a guy who will just give you headaches?)  I just do not want complications and since most guys are complicated (or bring complications), eh 'di 'wag na lang (then never mind).  Just look at you."  And this sure shut her up because she just separated from her cheater husband.

I won't elaborate further on why I am still single as I have already covered that in a previous post.  But to put it simply, it's by MY choice.  Period.

What I want to address is this "napag-iiwanan ka na ng panahon"  (time is running out) mentality that most people automatically attach to me once they find out that I am still single at twenty-eight (turning twenty-nine before the month ends).  Since when does marriage have a deadline?  More importantly, since when does one's (marital) status define a person or his / her happiness?

When I browse through my Facebook wall, I smile and click on Like and sometimes even comment when I see my friends with their family or kids.  I'm happy for them but here's the gist of what this post is about:  I'm happy for myself too.  For what I have and do not have.  

I admit there are times when I wonder about how my life would be if I already have my own family.  I would  wonder about what my husband or daughter or son would look or be like.  About how I would be like as a wife and mom.  But that's just that - speculations.  

Life is a matter of choice.  So are love and happiness.  I cannot spend my life looking back on or chasing after what could be e.g. "What could have happened if I married X?"  I already made my choice and so I have to make it work for me.  I have to find my happiness in my choice.  

I am twenty-eight (turning twenty-nine) and single.  And luckily for me, I am happy being one.


Story of a Girl said...

Wonderful blog ! I turned 31 recently, and I know people are thinking I'm never gonna get married. But I just have to have hope that it will happen one day. And if it hasn't happened it's for a reason. Like you, I also am not going to lower my standards. I know God has His best for me, and I won't settle for anything less. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, I know all us girls think very similar as we wait for "the one".

milai said...

Hey! It's been a long time. Thanks for the visit.

Yes, it's better to trust God's plan for us and wait than lower our standards and settle for just anyone. :)