walking wounded

buildings and skyscrapers
as high as my dreams
crisscrossing streets
as chaotic as my wayward thoughts
blinding lights from cars
admonishing me to slow down...

where am i going?

i walk aimlessly
as my mother's parting words
keep playing inside my head
"what does a man gain
if he loses his soul?"

it's a dog-eat-dog world i'm in
but i made it.

i'm successful.
self-made.
an enviable career woman.

but what do all these entail?

spending christmas alone.
missing family reunions
not being able to attend birthdays, weddings
and other memorable events
in the lives of my loved ones.

suddenly i feel so lonely.

and i walk not
but trudge home.

home?

where is home?

is it the four corners of my apartment
with its balcony with a view of the city
and its modern comforts?

it's not.

and so i find myself missing my room
in the house i grew up in...

i miss my mom
and my dad
and my siblings
fiercely.

i miss home.


===============
written in December 2006 while I was still working in my former company. This was when I felt all burned-out. And stressed. Two weeks after I wrote this, I tendered my resignation, packed my bags and went home in our province. Home sweet home.