God Takes

I love how Facebook now enables us to go on a trip down memory lane by posting our status messages a year ago.  It's very helpful for me because sometimes, I just randomly share my thoughts and feelings on Facebook (and also on Yahoo Messenger) and forget to share them in my blog.  Below is my status message a year ago, which again reminded me to let go and let God.

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Heaven sends and heaven takes but come what may, I believe in You, my Lord and my God, for your ways are different from ours... 

... and so, I surrender - with no fear - just with trust and faith and obedience. Take away what is good so you may give me what is best.

Random Thoughts # 13

TRIALS

Let us give thanks
to the trials we meet
for with every pain,
we grow.
With every doubt,
our faith intensifies.
With every temptation,
our resolve strengthens.
With every acknowledgment
of our weakness,
God lifts us up.

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Conversations with the Lord

When difficulties arose, I asked
"Why me, Lord? I have been good."
And I heard Him say, "My child, be still.
Learn to trust and obey my will."


When He beckoned me to follow Him, I asked,
"Why me, Lord? I am not worthy. I am sinful,
I am weak. Choose someone else."
But He said , "I chose you and in my eyes, you are wonderful."


When the going got rough, I appealed to Him,
"Enough, Lord. I can take no more."
"Daughter," He encouraged me, "I will never let you
be tested beyond what you can endure."


When my human limitations were evident, I said,
"Look, Lord, I keep on stumbling and making mistakes."
"Do not lose heart," He said, "My way is not easy.
Be steadfast in your faith, remain in me."


“Lord, I finally asked. “Why are you so good to me
despite my failures and iniquities?”
And He replied, “Beloved daughter, do you not see?
My love for you is unconditional and it will always be.”


"I am deeply sorry, Lord, for the times when I doubt.
I now humbly entrust myself to you, what it is that you want?"
"I ask nothing," he answered, "but your openness and generosity.
Respond to my love, love others truly and fully."

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written on February 01, 2004 during my Spiritual Exercises.

Random Thoughts - # 11

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Our prayers will not change God for He was, is and will always be the same and only God who loves us constantly. What our prayers will change is US and our relationship with Him.

Random Thoughts - # 10

Human Limitations

Our perceptions are limited to the extent of what our human senses will allow. Beyond that, there is Someone who knows and understands things and events best and He only has one name -- God.

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God Listens

Have you ever wondered if God indeed listens to you? You who’s just but one person in this world of billions of people?

Have you ever cried out so loud to Him only to hear deafening silence?

He said You are special to Him. For after all, He “has written your name in the palm of His hands,” right? But didn’t He say that to practically each one of us?

What is it with your cries that will make Him gravitate to you when each day, He has tons of prayers to listen to? And countless of needs to address?

The good news is that God does listen. Intently. And the better news is that His listening style is as His love is – personal. When He listens, He does so in a way that our utmost good is looked after.

God listens to the fervent prayer of the faithful that makes these faithful yearn to be closer to Him. To be like Him.

God listens to the half-hearted prayers of those who have not yet fully entrusted their lives to Him that their faith in Him will grow stronger each day.

God even listens to non-believers that they may be enlightened. And if they do not want to accept Him as their Savior, He patiently waits and loves them just the same.

God listens to the prayers of the elderly. And that of a child’s. He listens to our desperate pleas, even to our words of doubt and anger as much as he listens to our prayers of gratitude and hope. He even hears our unspoken prayers, even knows those that we are yet to pray for.

God listens. To me. To you. In a world of billions of people, you matter. Each one of us does. He even “calls each one of us by name.”

In times when we think there is silence, it is because it is in the silence of our hearts that He speaks the loudest. God does not have to do all the listening. Sometimes, we need to shut up so we can hear Him speak.

In times when we think our prayers go unanswered, it is because God has something better in store for us. Or it is because He knows the difference between a need and a want. And He wants us to learn this difference.

For everything there is a season. And for each prayer, there is an answer. It may be a “yes,” for He knows we really need it - now. Or it may be a “no,” for He wants to teach us that loving a person sometimes entails saying no to a loved one for something that is obviously not for his or her own good. Or it may be a “later,” that we may learn patience and to trust Him more in times when it seems to us that He is unreachable.

God listens. And whatever His answer is, listen – with faith, with trust.

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Our Friendship

Hand in hand, we walked along the winding path of life

The sky was azure in color, the sun was shining brightly down on us

The path was strewn with flowers, the grass a vivid green

Butterflies fluttered, birds sang

Our hearts were filled with smiles and joy

A twist here, a bend there

On and on we went until the scene shifted

The sky became dark, there came a flash of lightning

And a clap of thunder

As the rain started pelting down on us

Outright scared was I

But you held my hand tighter, conveying your message

Of quiet strength and timely comfort

And kindling in me unfailing hope and the faith

In myself, in you and in Someone far greater than us

There will always be the three of us

We can do everything, anything...

And so we braved the storm and we did triumph over it

The scene again shifted, the path was again flower-strewn

Beyond the horizon was the imagery of The Face we long to see

Ever gentle, serene and brimming with love

Beckoning us to go after Him

We exchanged looks and smiles for we knew

He is our Purpose, our Goal

Still hand in hand, we continued our journey

Knowing that our friendship is not just about you or me

But it is also about the two of us - two different individuals

Bound by our shared lives

Lives focused on only one direction - on God

And on God alone.

I Thank God For You

Whenever I think of God's blessings to me

You are always one of those who are on top of my list
For you are one of God's precious gifts to me
True friends are rare and hard to find
Thus, I feel so richly blessed that I have you
And so whenever you cross my mind
Which happens not only often but very often
I thank God profusely for He has given me
The gift of a true friend in you
I know I cannot thank Him enough
For you are too precious that words fail
To give justice to my gratitude
So I will stop here
And let my thanks transcend beyond this post
And the words written in here
May you feel my gratitude for and to you
In my personal correspondence with you
Know that whenever I give thanks to God,
I also think of and thank Him for you.

Random Thoughts - # 9

Prayer

Whenever we pray, we exhale our human spirit and inhale God's spirit. In so doing, we let go of our own wills and desires and have His wills and desires for us known - His wills and desires that are always for our best.

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The Gift of Your Love

I used to think that unconditional love

Certainly does not exist

"Who can selflessly give such love?" I scoffed...

But then you came along and showed me

That indeed, unconditional love is living

In those who draw such love

From God who is love Himself...

To love is by being love ourselves

We are to be love's essence, its embodiment

It is totality -

We either give our best

And our all to the one we love

Or we give nothing at all...

We are to love the person as a whole

Along with her weaknesses and failures

For when we love only the good in her

It is not love but just plain admiration...

But love does not end in our seeing through

Our loved one's human misgivings

For real love is that which helps motivate

Our loved one to rise above her limitations...

I want to thank you for the love

You unselfishly give to us

You just don't know how life-changing

How motivational and inspiring

The gift of your love can be.

Ushering in the Year 2009

Time flies swiftly. Another year has passed and a new dawn has come. The New Year always brings me hope – for a better self, a better country, a better world… a better everything. Of course, I cannot just hope. I also have to act. Thus, since I was a child, I have not been making New Year resolutions. What I make are my goals for the year.

This year, it is my goal to be closer to God. Enough with my goals for myself. God first and everything else will follow. This is my utmost goal for I know that with God leading my life, I am bound to a life of profound meaning and wonders. Without Him, I am nothing. I will not become a better person. And without Him too, I cannot do anything.

The New Year also brings me gratitude. I thank God for a wonderful year (the Year 2008) and I thank Him too for the gift of another year.

The brightest of hopes. Unwavering faith. Sincere love. Inner serenity. These, with God’s grace, I desire for this year.

I am looking forward to another memorable and wonderful year. Let another chapter of my life unfold…

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Acceptance

I am living in a society where the standards of beauty have already been laid. To be beautiful means to have white complexion, a pointed nose and other mestiza-like features. Consumed with vanity, when I sometimes look at myself in the mirror, I would wish to have more attractive features.

When I was a kid, I was teased for being “negra” because of my complexion. With cousins who are all mestiza-looking, I was the odd one out. Next to these paternal cousins, I thought I looked like their house helper. People’s teasing and jokes, no matter how well-meaning they may be, hurt. My self esteem was crushed. Thus, I disliked my morena (light brown) coloring as I was growing up.

I also sometimes wish to be someone I am not. I would wish I were better at singing and dancing. I would wish I knew how to draw and paint or to play any sport magnificently. I also would wish I were good in Math and with anything that has to do with numbers.

I remember there were also times when I would wish for another family. Whenever daddy or mommy hurt me deeply with their words or if they won’t let me do or have what I want, I sometimes would mentally wish for a different set of parents. I have my ideals. And so I wish for people and things in my life to be in perfect accord with my ideal family or with the ideal self that I want them to have. I want them to be what I want them to be.

There are also events in my life I’d rather forget. Oh, how many times have I wished to turn back time to change the course of some events or to have an entirely different set of circumstances. But of course, I can not do that. I can not turn back time. It’s over and done with. And so what I did was to deny - to deny that those happened to me. I can not accept that my 4th year high school experience did happen to me. It is too painful, too humiliating. And so for years I buried it in the abyss of my mind.

So many wishes have I got that are contrary to what I have. So many ideals and perfect things in my mind. Comparisons have gotten me nowhere. It’s either I become proud because I, for example, got a better grade than what a classmate got or, sad because someone got a grade higher than mine. Too busy was I looking for what others have that I do not have that I failed to see my own blessings.

God is always with me. In times when I struggled with people’s hurtful words, He was there to soothe the pain. In times when even I could not like my self, He was there loving me at my most unlovable. His were the eyes seeing me through my worst times. His was the presence giving me strength and comfort when I was so weak and was badly needing comfort and assurance. His was the heart so pure, constant in His love for me even if I had wandered far away from Him many times in my life. Oh how many times have I doubted Him. There even was a point in my life when I was angry at Him for I thought He had forsaken me. Yet, He was full of love and understanding. He was patient. He waited for me to mellow and mature and, when it was the right time, to grant me the grace to enable me to understand and accept everything He has handed to me with great love and generosity.

Now is that right time, Lord. I gratefully and lovingly accept everything that I am and everything that I have. I accept my past as it is - all the smiles, the laughter, the tears, the pains and the struggles. I accept everything as parts of your great plan for me. I am who I am now because of my history. I also accept people and things in my life as they are, not as I want them to be. Each of us is unique, differently made and differently gifted. I can not have everything I want nor can anyone. You as our Great Creator knows us by heart. You know each one of us inside and out. You know and gives us only what is best for us. If we do not have it, we don’t need it.

I pray that you will grant me the graces I need to be always grateful and faithful to You. I may be teased and given names but I ask You to give me the courage I need to stand up to them. Their words won’t harm me. They can think of me as whatever they perceive me to be. They can name me with whatever names but I can not care less about them. What matters most is how You name me, how you see me. I am Your child. I am who and what You created me to be. You love me as I am and so I lovingly accept myself, all that I am and all that I have - fully and gratefully.

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written when I was twenty.

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Random Thoughts - # 7

Empathy

When I am feeling sad or hurt, I found out that the best cure is to find solace in God and, with empathy, to lift someone else's sadness and hurt. Nothing can be so fulfilling.

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God's Presence in You

I feel God in the friendship that we share

His joy echoes in our laughter

The warmth of His love is in your eyes

His compassion is reached out to us

Through your empathetic nature

And the ways with which you show your care

His wisdom reflects in your good counsel

Your openness mirrors His own

His generosity is in your selfless giving

And in the profound sharing of your self...

Friends are heaven-sent angels

The real-life ones who make life sweeter,

Our days brighter and our selves better

They mirror God and extend Him to others

Like the way you make Him more known to me

You give inspiration by being what you are -

A friend in Christ and the same friend

Who continuously makes my life more meaningful

Because of the personal touch you put in it.

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Random Thoughts - # 5

Doubt

Doubt if you must but be sure that your doubt will bring you awakening. Doubt is needed to achieve faith and when you have grasped true faith, be faithful to it.




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To Where You Are

take my hand and i will follow you

to wherever you will lead me

i know not where we are going but you do

for all is known to you alone

despite the uncertainties, i fear nothing

because just to be with you is enough

for my heart and soul to be at peace

in you i take refuge

you are my joy, the life of my living

my lord, take me to where you are

to wherever you will be

you are the lord of my history and life

you have called me to follow you

i am yours, i love you

i entrust to you my entire being

all that i was, all that i am and all that i will be

my lord, take me to where you are

i yearn to be with you all the days of my life

i know it is not easy to follow you

but i also know that you will take care of me

every step of the way

by giving me the graces i need

to carry everything out

you are in me and i am in you

wherever you go, i go too

whatever you face, i also face

you and i are one

my lord and my god,

take me to where you are

for to where you are is home.

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Looking back

I recently turned twenty-five. Twenty-five years of living life. With a purpose. With joy. With as much zest as I can put in it.

I have this habit of doing a once-in-a-year cleanup of my treasure box. In it are my journals, letters and cards and other stuff. It’s a treasure trove that holds my important keepsakes and whose contents never fail to bring back smiles, sometimes tears and always, fondness.

And as I rummaged through my treasure box, I found this entry from one of my journals.

As I go through the events of my life, I realized that God was in each event I have had. With every smile, with every laughter, even with every tear and every pain, God was there. God was shaping me and my life, molding all that I was to become what I am now... to gradually become what He wanted me to be...

I am grateful to God for His gifts. I thank Him for each precious memory. Just remembering the happy moments of my life is a wonderful experience. Until now, just the memory of each moment still brings me smiles and warmth. God was in each happy moment but He was not just a spectator. He was the Great Planner and the Guiding Light of the events of my life. I may not be aware then of the wonders He was making in my life but now the joys I felt then are doubled for I know God was taking care of me.

Of course, there were times when I thought He was not with me. There were times I questioned if He was listening to me... if He was there for if He was, why was I in pain. There were times when I doubted Him. I thought He didn’t care. I thought He was neglecting me and my cries. But now, as I look back, I realized He never left me. I was able to surpass each trial because of Him and the graces He gave me. In the first place, He never did give me a trial too big for me to face and conquer. With every pain, I grew. With every doubt, my faith intensified. With every temptation, my resolve strengthened. With every acknowledgment of my weakness, He lifted me up.

And so I thank Him now for each trial and difficulties that ever came my way. Now I know why there were sacrifices and suffering in my life – with my struggles came a better me.

God was, is and will be in every phase of my life. He was with me from the moment He planned of creating me. He has already written my biography with His own mighty hand.

I may not know what lies ahead of me but I need not be afraid – God is there. He is here. God is in me. He is taking care of me. I am His child. He loves me. He knows and will give me what is best for me.

Life has its uncertainties but I have my assurance in my God.

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From my journal entry, written in 2003

Teach Me, Jesus

Teach me, Jesus

To love as you have loved
And to love still even when it hurts
To obey the Father as you have obeyed Him
And to obey Him still even when
My own will clashes against His
To give generously and to give more
Even when I barely have enough for myself
And to give still even when I have nothing
To be trusting and faithful to the Father
And to be more so when trials arise
To gladly embrace the cross and share in your sufferings
And to offer to others the same consolation
That you have been offering me all these times
To be more like you
And less like my proud, fickle self...

My Lord and my God, I surrender.

An Angel to me

It is because of people like you
That I believe in angels
For since I came to know you,
I realized
That angels need not have wings
Nor do they have to be in heaven
In today's world we have real-life angels...
People who do not have wings
But with their hands,
Get to reach out to others
And touch many lives
With their empathetic nature
Even with their smiles and the gentlest of touches
And the way they mirror God
In their kind words and deeds.
People who inspire others to give
As these real-life angels generously give
To serve as they constantly and faithfully serve
And to love as they selflessly love
People who are God's instruments
In making joy, beauty, hope and love known
To those whose lives are continuously being touched
By these heaven-sent, real-life angels...
I am one of those whose life
Is continuously being touched
By an angel who is just so true
I can not thank God enough
For His wonderful, precious gift
Of a real-life angel in you.


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For the Religious of Mary Immaculate (RMI) Sisters

You are God's Gift to Me

Who would have thought

That we would become friends

Who would have thought

That our differences would not

Set us apart from each other

But instead bind us

Closer than we could have imagined

And teach us that to love

Is to accept each other as each one is.

Who would have thought of all those

But God...

To have a friend is to be one

And you showed me what it is like

To be and to have a friend

Thus, whenever I think of you,

I thank God for His gift of you to me

Oh, how I cherish the thought

Of the time when He carefully

And lovingly planned the time

When our paths would cross

For that was the moment

When He thought of giving me

One of life's sweetest blessings -

YOU as my friend.