Random Thoughts # 12

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TRUE LOVE
Truly loving a person sometimes entails excusing the inexcusable in him. It is not turning a blind eye to his frailties but seeing beyond the imperfections and beholding something totally beautiful.

Courage

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It takes courage to admit what I do not know. But this admission is the first step to learning.

It takes courage to admit that I am scared. But this fear starts to dissipate the moment I acknowledge my fear. For the greatest of fears is borne from not knowing. And courage is knowing and confronting that fear.

It takes courage to admit that I am wrong. But something or someone cannot be corrected unless it has been acknowledged that a mistake was made. And being wrong sometimes paves the way to doing what is right.

It takes courage to admit that I am helpless in some ways and in need of help. But it is through this that I learn how to value other people. We are interconnected individuals and I cannot exist as one.

It takes courage to admit that I am proud. But this is my first step to humility for the height of arrogance is when one is too full of himself and yet too proud to admit it. And this I refuse to happen to me.

It takes courage to embrace change. For comfort zones are called such because there is security in what is certain. But it is when we let go of our certainties that we open ourselves to possibilities.

It takes courage to trust. To love. To hope. To live. For life will always be wrought with risks and challenges. And courage is about conquering these.

It takes courage to admit that I lost. In my struggles to triumph over love and life’s challenges, I sometimes stumble and fall. But it is in these losses that I learn that courage is also about trusting in my self even when things become overwhelming. It is proving my resilience to the world.

It takes courage to be different. But courage is basically about finding that strength to go against the tide and just revel on being one’s own self regardless of what other people say.

Courage. It is what makes the vulnerable invulnerable.

stuck

"move on."

my friends tell me

and i'd just smile --

a smile that just doesn't

reach my eyes

and i'd laugh

albeit hollowly

and in a voice ringing

with false conviction,

i'd even dare say,

"what for?

everything's so yesterday.

i am now over him."

but who am i fooling?

i'm stuck

in that place

where there's still an us

i'm helpless

so desperate that i refuse

to wake up

choosing to instead

be in a dream

than in an empty bed

with only my tears

for company.

it's not that

i don't want to move on

i do try

but something

seems to always

remind me of you --

little and big things

that the more i blot out,

the more they seem

to taunt me with their

presence.

much like your omnipresence.

i'm stuck

and a way out

is nowhere to be found

for even my own mind

and heart betray me.

what's worse

than not moving on?

it's being stuck here

left alone to fend for myself

and still loving the jerk

who's responsible

for all this mess.

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haunted

i left

and was adamant

about not looking back

because remembering

is as painful

as leaving...

but the mind

is a powerful thing

for it remembers.

and i find it funny

that something

seems to always

bring me

back to you --

a song, a book,

a movie, a quote...

a place, a food, the rain...

even the littlest of things.

worse,

the things i used to like

now i see and feel

with pangs

of loneliness

gnawing at me.

what's with this endless

torture?

this mockery

of my desire

to forget you?

anything and everything

seems to remind me of you

and worst, even nothing

becomes you

for even in silence,

there still is

you.

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Random Thoughts - # 11

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Our prayers will not change God for He was, is and will always be the same and only God who loves us constantly. What our prayers will change is US and our relationship with Him.

shades of gray

between our blacks and whites

are a dozen shades of gray

beneath our "truths"

are carefully concealed lies

for what or for whom exactly

i can only wonder...

i've lied, been lied to

to spare myself and yourself

from pain

hoping

fervently hoping

maybe even hopelessly

that shades of gray

will work for us...

half-truths

white lies

are they,

will they

ever be
justified?

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Expecting the Worst

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Gil Grissom: It is interesting to me how you always expect the worst.

Catherine Willows: You see that way, I’m never disappointed, and sometimes, I’m nicely surprised.

I was six. I wanted a puppy for Christmas. I did not get it and I was hurt. The fact that I expected my Christmas present to be a puppy and get dresses, toys and money instead made the disillusionment even more painful.

I was ten. I was reading Victor Hugo’s The Hunchback of Notre Dame and expecting a good ending for Esmeralda and Quasimodo. Their death thus unnerved me. I was disappointed.

I was sixteen. I thought the friendship I was sharing with a really nice guy would blossom into something more. It did not and thinking about it later only brought me sadness.

I was eighteen and a junior in college. I studied so hard for an exam. I pored over every book we used as reference, even did further readings and research in the school library and on the Internet. I fervently hoped I would pass. Days after, the results were posted in the college’s bulletin. I did not pass.

The list of my hopes and expectations getting reduced to painful losses is innumerable. Hearing the above verbal exchange from two of CSI’s main characters thus made me think. Will it be better if I align my way of thinking with Catherine’s? Will it spare me from needless disappointments and hurt?

In college, one of my closest friends once told me that I am a hopeless optimist. I laughed. She then added half-jokingly that hopefuls are often fools.

Is it foolishness to believe that things will turn out good? Do pessimists fare better in this world?

I remember the time when I expected the worst of something. It was when I took the UPCAT (University of the Philippines College Admission Test). A couple of weeks before the results were out, I was already conditioning my mind that I failed and bracing myself for it. UP, after all, is the country’s premier and most sought after university that getting in is considered a rare privilege. It was thus a very pleasant surprise to find out that I passed. It was so unexpected it was exhilarating, especially when it dawned on me that I did not just pass. I made it to Diliman, UP’s flagship campus.

I keep on thinking of the reasons why I should shed my optimism. And I have just decided that I will never let go of it. Why? Because it is my optimism that has saved me countless of times from being devoured by life’s negativities. It is my shield, the one thing that keeps me from turning into a completely bitter cynic and saves me even from my own self.

Yes, I get hurt. And disappointed. I am sometimes frustrated because things do not come out as I hope. Because I expect better results but have gotten something less. But you know what, I think it’s better this way as it makes me a believer. In myself. In other people. In the nobility of the human spirit and man’s capacity for faring better when confronted with the harsh realities of life.

I expect to succeed and I sometimes fail. But the reason why I expect to succeed is the thought that I am up to the challenge. I do not expect to lose as I know I can and will do better.

When people have done something bad, I do not automatically assume the worst of them because I give them better credit. I trust their capacity to do well and be good. Certain circumstances may drive some people to do something bad or be bad but I refuse to let this handful of people taint my faith in the entire humanity of my race.

Things sometimes do not go as planned or hoped for but in these instances, I learn patience, flexibility and resilience. I learn to appreciate blessings in disguise and value them for what they are.

And in times when things are at their worst and I am on the verge of giving up, it is my optimism that makes me see beyond life’s current difficulties. That I may strive to do better, be better. It is this optimism that cloaks me in courage so I will come out triumphant in life’s challenges.

Optimists are not fools. Fools are those who opt to give up without a fight. They are the ones who wallow in feelings of despair instead of finding the courage within their selves to bounce back higher despite stumbling down many times. Fools are those who chose to end their lives just because they thought there was nothing else that could be done. That they had seen the end of days and there was no hope left for them.

I am no fool. And so come what may, I will always choose to see the brighter side of life.

When I Leave

One of the best gifts God gave me is you
And I am really grateful to Him for that
The times I have spent with you
Are the best of times and even if
I want those times to last forever,
We have always known that the time will come
When we have to part ways…
That time is now and even if it pains me to leave,
We both know that I have to
Life is a cycle of hello and goodbyes
I say goodbye but know that my leaving
Does not mean that I care for you no more
Or I love you less…
When I leave, be sad not but smile
Bask in the wonderful truth that though
The season of our being together has passed,
Our friendship continues because our friendship
Knows no season, only eternity…
I will surely miss you but wherever I go,
Whenever and whatever,
I know exactly where to look for you
To find you, I only have to look inside my heart
And I will see you
Prominently cherished in there
And just a heartbeat away…
As long as we let each other live in our hearts,
That is where each one stays –
Always,
Even forever.

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Lies

i listened

as your

carefully

rehearsed speech

became endless

ramblings

i heard the denials

and lame excuses

but was careful

to hide the dispassion

from showing

in my face

i stifled a smirk

when panic

laced your voice

and despair

brought you

over the edge

seeing me unaffected

you expertly

switched tactics

and started to say

you're sorry

while pleading

for another chance --

your nth chance...

suddenly,

i felt so tired

and hurt

and the more

you talked,

the longer

your speech went,

the colder

my heart

had become.

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Little Girl Lost

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For eight years, I was the apple of the eye of each family member. My relatives doted on me and they catered to my every whim. I was a brat and loved every minute of it. Then my youngest brother came and little pampered me was relegated to the sidelines. Or so the child in me thought.

I resented my brother at first. I hated the way the family would gather around him and exclaim how cute he was and how adorable. Didn’t I use to be all those and more?

When my brother was nearly a year old and I was about nine, something happened that changed my life forever. Mommy promised that she would take me shopping. I was ecstatic! Finally, bonding time for us! And her time just for me!

On that promised day though, my brother got sick so mommy said we had to first make a stop at the doctor’s clinic. Mommy, my baby brother, the nanny and I then went to Kalibo but since we did not have an appointment, we had to wait. The waiting took more than an hour and when it was nearly twelve noon, I became impatient and annoyed. In my most bratty manner, I came up to my mom and demanded that we go shopping.

“Mom, you promised,” I implored. My mom was trying to pacify me. “Later, honey,” she said. “This won’t take long. Your brother has to be checked by the doctor.”

“There’s the nanny,” I pointed out but my mom shook her head.

I did not know what made me flared up then. Maybe I was hungry. Or I got tired of waiting. Or I was just sick of having a brother who usurped what I thought was my rightful place.

“You shouldn’t make promises you couldn’t keep,” I accused, my eyes shooting sparks. And I said this in the loudest of voices too. “I wish I were home,” I added petulantly. “If I knew we’d come to this, I shouldn’t have come with you.”

Mommy, who was usually patient, then flared up too. “You’re being selfish. Your brother’s sick and all you think about is yourself? If you wish you weren’t here, then I wish too that you weren’t!”

Stung, my pride torn to shreds, I haughtily squared my shoulders then walked out on my mom. “Fine. I’ll go. Don’t bother looking for me. I don’t need you and I hate you.”

And off I went, complete with some stomping of my feet and clenching of fists.

Ten meters from the clinic, I stopped. In my stubborn, proud but hopeful heart, I waited for my mom to go after me.

I stood there but she did not come. The two minutes I spent waiting was like eternity, with each second more painful than the one before it. I remember crying then angrily wiping my tears with clenched fists.

Then I forced myself to move. And started walking aimlessly.

I later found myself in Kalibo’s town plaza. And that’s when it happened. In the park were a lot of people but my attention was drawn to two children. The girl was almost my age and the boy was maybe about two. They were begging for alms and when they came to a couple on a bench a couple of meters from where I was, the couple gave them a sandwich. As the children walked off, I watched in fascination as the elder sister halved the bread and gave the bigger portion to her brother.

Stunned, that’s when I realized just how selfish and bratty I had been.

Buoyed by what I just witnessed, I stood up and made my way back to the clinic.

A block away from the plaza, I bumped into my mom and that’s when another realization hit me – I’m loved! Of course I am! As we stood there, both of us were crying. Mommy was saying sorry for losing her temper on me. She said she and the nanny weren’t able to follow me because just after I walked out the door, their turn came. I just smiled and said sorry too for being selfish. When I asked where my brother was, she said she already sent him home with the nanny while she stayed to look for me. She added she was mindless with worry. The fiercest of hugs was then exchanged.

And so I was a runaway for a couple of hours. But that experience changed my life - my life as a sibling and a daughter. It was my turning point for that’s when I resolved to myself to be the best big sister that I can be.

Just how much of a big sister have I become? Oh, enough to give up my brat throne to my baby brother and lavish him with so much love and protection that sometimes, I end up saving his hide from mom’s scolding. Te he!

Random Thoughts - # 10

Human Limitations

Our perceptions are limited to the extent of what our human senses will allow. Beyond that, there is Someone who knows and understands things and events best and He only has one name -- God.

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God Listens

Have you ever wondered if God indeed listens to you? You who’s just but one person in this world of billions of people?

Have you ever cried out so loud to Him only to hear deafening silence?

He said You are special to Him. For after all, He “has written your name in the palm of His hands,” right? But didn’t He say that to practically each one of us?

What is it with your cries that will make Him gravitate to you when each day, He has tons of prayers to listen to? And countless of needs to address?

The good news is that God does listen. Intently. And the better news is that His listening style is as His love is – personal. When He listens, He does so in a way that our utmost good is looked after.

God listens to the fervent prayer of the faithful that makes these faithful yearn to be closer to Him. To be like Him.

God listens to the half-hearted prayers of those who have not yet fully entrusted their lives to Him that their faith in Him will grow stronger each day.

God even listens to non-believers that they may be enlightened. And if they do not want to accept Him as their Savior, He patiently waits and loves them just the same.

God listens to the prayers of the elderly. And that of a child’s. He listens to our desperate pleas, even to our words of doubt and anger as much as he listens to our prayers of gratitude and hope. He even hears our unspoken prayers, even knows those that we are yet to pray for.

God listens. To me. To you. In a world of billions of people, you matter. Each one of us does. He even “calls each one of us by name.”

In times when we think there is silence, it is because it is in the silence of our hearts that He speaks the loudest. God does not have to do all the listening. Sometimes, we need to shut up so we can hear Him speak.

In times when we think our prayers go unanswered, it is because God has something better in store for us. Or it is because He knows the difference between a need and a want. And He wants us to learn this difference.

For everything there is a season. And for each prayer, there is an answer. It may be a “yes,” for He knows we really need it - now. Or it may be a “no,” for He wants to teach us that loving a person sometimes entails saying no to a loved one for something that is obviously not for his or her own good. Or it may be a “later,” that we may learn patience and to trust Him more in times when it seems to us that He is unreachable.

God listens. And whatever His answer is, listen – with faith, with trust.

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Our Friendship

Hand in hand, we walked along the winding path of life

The sky was azure in color, the sun was shining brightly down on us

The path was strewn with flowers, the grass a vivid green

Butterflies fluttered, birds sang

Our hearts were filled with smiles and joy

A twist here, a bend there

On and on we went until the scene shifted

The sky became dark, there came a flash of lightning

And a clap of thunder

As the rain started pelting down on us

Outright scared was I

But you held my hand tighter, conveying your message

Of quiet strength and timely comfort

And kindling in me unfailing hope and the faith

In myself, in you and in Someone far greater than us

There will always be the three of us

We can do everything, anything...

And so we braved the storm and we did triumph over it

The scene again shifted, the path was again flower-strewn

Beyond the horizon was the imagery of The Face we long to see

Ever gentle, serene and brimming with love

Beckoning us to go after Him

We exchanged looks and smiles for we knew

He is our Purpose, our Goal

Still hand in hand, we continued our journey

Knowing that our friendship is not just about you or me

But it is also about the two of us - two different individuals

Bound by our shared lives

Lives focused on only one direction - on God

And on God alone.

heart talk

heart,

be still

be strong

never for once

doubt your resilience

never mind that

you've been fooled not once

but thrice

or have loved and lost

a couple of times

gather strength

from your memory

of picking up

your broken pieces

and enduring

the pain of having

each broken shard,

each jagged edge

and becoming stronger

because of them

remember

how you painstakingly

put together each piece

while learning to let go

look back on the time

when in the brink

of a breakdown,

you rallied admirably

and moved on

with rare grace...

never fear

to love again

or hold back

just because

love stung you

just stay strong

and continue loving

till it hurts

no more.

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Scar(R)ed No More

I have this perennial fear of failing. For as long as I can remember, I have always been afraid to fail not just myself but other people as well, especially my loved ones.

I know there are times when failing is inevitable. It is simply a part of life. Reality would not have been clearly delineated if we do not experience failure at some points of our lives. But what I really fear is the disappointment my failure would cause to anyone. It pains me to be disappointed by the people I believe in and so I try so hard, do my best, to live up to their expectations, no matter how high these expectations are. Or sometimes, how silly.

When I was in high school, one of my life’s utmost humiliations transpired. You see, I was a consistent honor student since my nursery years. I always did well in school, even excelled in almost all my subjects, except Math. I always belonged to the top section but this was only until my 3rd year in high school as in my senior year, I was put in section 2. I was aghast. Mad, even. Mad is actually an understatement as in a phase of raging hormones and blatant rebellion, hate prevailed. I hated the school’s system. And some teachers, especially the principal. I hated some classmates. Hated almost everyone, even my family. But most of all, I hated myself. I hated and blamed myself for letting a lot of people down. For letting myself down.

The event left me scarred. And scared. Of failing. Of it happening again. Of disappointing people. And then hating and blaming myself for it. From then on, I did my damnedest to always excel in everything. If prior to the incident I was already an achiever, after it, I was more so it was scary as I seemed to be obsessed with always coming out a winner in each and every event I allowed myself to participate in. Allowed being the operative word as from then on, I took only calculated risks. I was so hellbent on achieving success that if there were what they call the cream of the crop, I wanted to be the cream of the cream of the crop.

Looking deep down into myself, I realized that aside from not wanting to disappoint my loved ones, I fear failure because I equated success with people’s capacity for love. I thought that if I fail, my loved ones will love me less. Or that my peers will not like me just as much. Such utterly stupid rationale. Because for these past years, no matter how many times I have been let down by my loved ones, I love them just the same. I even love them more in their times of failure as in those times, they are in utmost need of love. Of the reassurance that their worth does not diminish when life deals them with one of its blows. That they are loved and accepted as they are, no matter what, come what may.

Disappointments and failure do hurt. But in the past years, I learned that like failure, disappointment is as much a part of our lives as breathing. That for each endeavor we take, there is the possibility of failing and feelings of disappointment are just but natural reaction to it. Life is a gamble and if we do not make the first move of taking the risk, we cannot win.

I am no longer bound by failure’s ties. I expunge any fear I have of it. It may have left its scars on me but the scars are gradually healing.

I am also no longer scared. I am now free. From this point on, I will allow myself the total freedom to stumble once in a while. Each experience has its lessons for us and in some cases, failure is often the best teacher.

I embrace any possibility of failure. For I am scarred with and scared of it no more.

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a cynic takes her bitter pill

and i could have sworn

i never knew you

whatever made me fall for you,

now i wonder?

i should have seen

the implacable man

beneath your amiable exterior

should have known

that we're too stubborn

to allow ourselves to give in

to feelings we deemed trivial

we're too rational for that,

right?

love's stupid

and lovers foolish

we cynics proclaimed

but look who's laughing

at us now -

two people in love

who couldn't quite admit it

even to their own selves

love's funny

till it laughs back

at you.

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I Thank God For You

Whenever I think of God's blessings to me

You are always one of those who are on top of my list
For you are one of God's precious gifts to me
True friends are rare and hard to find
Thus, I feel so richly blessed that I have you
And so whenever you cross my mind
Which happens not only often but very often
I thank God profusely for He has given me
The gift of a true friend in you
I know I cannot thank Him enough
For you are too precious that words fail
To give justice to my gratitude
So I will stop here
And let my thanks transcend beyond this post
And the words written in here
May you feel my gratitude for and to you
In my personal correspondence with you
Know that whenever I give thanks to God,
I also think of and thank Him for you.

Random Thoughts - # 9

Prayer

Whenever we pray, we exhale our human spirit and inhale God's spirit. In so doing, we let go of our own wills and desires and have His wills and desires for us known - His wills and desires that are always for our best.

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Patience

I hate waiting. I especially hate it when I know there is a time set and the person whom I am supposed to meet still cannot make it on time and the always punctual me is left with no choice but to wait.

I'm now 25 years old. By now, one might think I have learned to be patient but what transpired the other day proves that I am still light years from achieving this rare virtue.

A friend and I were supposed to meet at 6:00 PM. I was on time, even early but as always, she's late. Very late in fact as the last time I checked my watch, it read 7:00 PM. I was irritated. So irritated that I wasn't able to resist the urge to text her, "It's a new year already and everyone's changing but it seems you still are your usual always-late self!"

Then it hit me! Whoa, I myself am not changing (contrary to what I wanted of a change for the better me in my first blog post for this year). I still am my usual impatient and temperamental self.

When my friend replied that she forgot about our meet-up, I resisted replying a not-so-good message. Or a message that will poke fun at her memory. Instead, I simply texted back, "It's okay. Take your time. I'll wait."

While waiting, I mulled things over. And I remember some friends joking about my being impatient. Quite too often, they always tell me that "Patience is virtue" to which I always reply, "That was, is and will never be mine." Of course, it was said jokingly, but still with a degree of truth to it.

Obstinacy. This is another character flaw I have. But there's hope, see. I can change. I sometimes just don't want to.

And so from this day on, I open myself to change, even to changes that I have difficulty dealing with. I will hold myself responsible for my emotions and the response I give to every situation I face. For I know, it is this response that will make me "myself."

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of love. of me.

loving me
may entail
more pain

than a fragile heart 

can ever hold

it's not that i purposefully

or knowingly inflict pain

it's just that 

love sometimes hurts

even when we do our best

to make things work

it's not that i'm unlovable

it's just that i make the process

as challenging but ultimately

just as rewarding as i can make it

and not everyone 

is up to these challenges

it's not that i don't want

to commit myself to someone

it's just that it takes a lot

and a long time for me

to admit someone into my life

and this admission

is not even a guarantee

that i will love him back

it's not that i'm afraid

of getting hurt

it's that i don't want

to cause pain to anyone

it's not that i'm in a rush

it's just that i want

the right time, 

the right reason

and the right person

to fall in love with

it's not that i think

i'm unworthy 

of someone's love

it's just that 

i know my worth

that i won't settle 

for anyone 

less than what i deserve

it's not that love is ideal

my view of it is

it's not love, see

it's me.

Of letting people be...

How come we always put restrictions on other people simply because these restrictions have been somehow imposed on ourselves? We very well know that we have no right. And yet, we keep on expecting people to be like us, to do exactly the same things we do. We keep on hoping they would change for us, to live their lives like we do ours. Or at least try to.

When I was in college, I had a friend who was my sounding board. Almost every week, I would see her and tell her my frustrations - about how a groupmate could not be depended on because her research always came out sloppy... About how I got mad at another friend because she was late and the always punctual me waited for a long time... I would nag this sounding-board friend about how most people could not understand me. And I too could not understand them. I would wonder how they could allow themselves to be careless. Or to not choose to be reliable and dependable... how they could allow mediocrity to rule their lives thus leaving people like me no choice but to make up for their ineptness.

One day, after an especially frustrating day for me, my friend gave me the answer to all my questions. And more. She simply said, "Because they are not you, Lai."

Struck, I just stared at my friend. "I am not going to say anything anymore," she said. "Just ponder on those words."

Later, alone in the confines of my room, I got my pen and my journal. I wanted to write. I badly needed to write. I needed answers. But nothing came to mind. And my friend's words kept playing inside my head.

Because they are not you... Because they are not you... Because they are not you... because they are not you...

I knew I wasn't confused. I knew exactly what my friend meant. I was just in denial - for so long a time. Pondering on her words, something I read once also came back to mind. "Great athletes make lousy coaches."

Admittedly, I had it easy all my life. I remember acing quizzes and exams even when I did not study hard. I excelled in almost anything. I was what they say the perennial achiever. Having shown such abilities, I thus lived a life of expectations. I grew up with an acute sense of people always expecting me to succeed in any endeavor I take... And I imposed the same expectations on people I came across with.

I would think: If I can be on time, why can't she be? If I can make my research or papers detailed, how come hers are not? Why can't they be as meticulous? How come I am always the one who is expected to do this and that?

The answer? It's all on the I. The Me. And the mine... I am me. And s/he is the person that s/he is.

And in some endeavors, it is me who does the work because I can. And s/he cannot.

Can I sing well? I cannot. Can I solve complicated Math problems? I cannot. Can I dance or act or paint? I cannot. And the list goes on and on...

Each one has his or her level. Thus I should not make them perform on my level. Each one has his and her own personality. And I have mine. And this personality makes us who we are. It defines our differences. And it is these differences that make us unique from others.

Lastly, each person is his and her own self. Thus I have no right to change a person just as no one has the right to make me conform to the person that they want or expect me to be.

And so, just as I yearn for people to let me be, I give them the same freedom to be themselves.

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The Gift of Your Love

I used to think that unconditional love

Certainly does not exist

"Who can selflessly give such love?" I scoffed...

But then you came along and showed me

That indeed, unconditional love is living

In those who draw such love

From God who is love Himself...

To love is by being love ourselves

We are to be love's essence, its embodiment

It is totality -

We either give our best

And our all to the one we love

Or we give nothing at all...

We are to love the person as a whole

Along with her weaknesses and failures

For when we love only the good in her

It is not love but just plain admiration...

But love does not end in our seeing through

Our loved one's human misgivings

For real love is that which helps motivate

Our loved one to rise above her limitations...

I want to thank you for the love

You unselfishly give to us

You just don't know how life-changing

How motivational and inspiring

The gift of your love can be.

Random Thoughts - # 8

Expectations

Expect nothing for expectations ruin spontaneity. Just let everything and everyone around you run their natural course and you will find out that life is full of beautiful surprises to dazzle you.

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Ushering in the Year 2009

Time flies swiftly. Another year has passed and a new dawn has come. The New Year always brings me hope – for a better self, a better country, a better world… a better everything. Of course, I cannot just hope. I also have to act. Thus, since I was a child, I have not been making New Year resolutions. What I make are my goals for the year.

This year, it is my goal to be closer to God. Enough with my goals for myself. God first and everything else will follow. This is my utmost goal for I know that with God leading my life, I am bound to a life of profound meaning and wonders. Without Him, I am nothing. I will not become a better person. And without Him too, I cannot do anything.

The New Year also brings me gratitude. I thank God for a wonderful year (the Year 2008) and I thank Him too for the gift of another year.

The brightest of hopes. Unwavering faith. Sincere love. Inner serenity. These, with God’s grace, I desire for this year.

I am looking forward to another memorable and wonderful year. Let another chapter of my life unfold…

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